We all have perceptions. These perceptions are of others and ourselves.
Right or wrong, we do treat people based on THESE perceptions of them and we get treated, interacted with, based on THESE perception of us.
Perceptions do change, they shift with time and circumstances but still it’s my perception of you in this situation and in this moment.
Based on this I interact with you.
What would affect the perception people have of us or us of them?
Behavior is a strong one. At face value it is really all we have to go on.
Because I act strong doesn’t mean I am strong all the time.
I am sensitive, that does not mean I am sensitive all the time.
I am tolerant most of the time that does not mean I am tolerant all the time.
It becomes more comfortable to treat you based on my bias of your situation.
Because I feel insecure or unsafe I react to others, based on the perception that best suits my coping skills or lack thereof.
Does this serve ME or the other person?
THE answer is – NO.
We need to be aware of the perception we have of those close to us and we need to question if it is true.
It is possible that we may be missing something because it suites us. If I see the other differently, does this mean I need to reach deep inside myself to open up to that person – IS THAT FEARFUL FOR ME? COULD I BE CRITICIZED, WILL I APPEAR WEAK ?
There are obvious perceptions based on the Enneagram which is a good start. Clearly this does not mean I need to know everyone’s type but I do need to know myself really well.
What is MY bias?
What am I trying to avoid?
What perceptions keep ME safe?
What behavior of mine, is resulting in others perception of me, which I now find hurtful or difficult.?
How difficult is it for ME to drop that behavior and make myself more transparent.?
We exude behavior that keeps other out and then we find ourselves misunderstood, lonely and sad.
IT IS TIME TO BE COMPASSIONATE TO OURSELVES.
Self observation –