Procrastination

Procrastination

This being my first blog I need to start with explaining where the information comes from.. Being a body based type I think, create and feel better when my body is busy. I have found over the last 20 years that huge amounts of information come to me while I dry my hair.

Some of these ideas will pertain to a specific client I am dealing with at the time but also insights into myself and stuff I or my family may be going through.

I have come to understand that ‘THERE IS WISDOM IN MY HAIRDRYER’ One day this may become a book title.

So before I start today’s topic let me ask.

What is IN your hairdryer and /or what is YOUR hairdryer?

Procrastination

 

This topic has been very relevant to the starting of my web page. I procrastinated because I did not know how or where to start. I had been encouraged by many but the fear of not knowing held me back. That may sound strange to the tech savvy people out there but for the rest of us it is a real fear.

I got brave and handed my trust and control over to someone else and waited for the universe to deliver. The tech guy turned out not to be the universe so I was back to point zero. All the angst, frustration and hurt yes hurt at being let down resurfaced.

I had a choice

Trust again… allow again OR give up .

I obviously chose the first idea and am really grateful to all those who encouraged me to do this. There are always amazing people out there to help us achieve, to encourage us to try. My many clients and my family were really pushing for this idea. I don’t want to mention specific names but they know who they are ­­____ BUT  Jay! Thanks for your patience, teaching and kindness in the designing.

Buzz word – we hear it all the time.

‘The road to hell is paved with good intentions’

‘Never put off for tomorrow what needs to be done today’

‘Procrastination is the thief of time.”

‘No time like the present’

“You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.”

“Procrastination is, hands down, our favorite form of self-sabotage.”

And there are many more… we know this. We hear and believe this to be true so why do we still procrastinate?

Why can we not at least get started on the changes we want to make in our lives?

There is plenty of information on how to make changes, how to get started how to make shifts and improvements in our lives..

None of these are asking the impossible and none of these ideas are unknown to us.

We all procrastinate for a different reason. It’s the same result but it’s an individualized  intention.

Intention is what we need to question. We only do things that give us a return of some kind.

What is my payoff, what result am I really wanting?

What do I get for sabotaging what I know to be good for me?

Our logical mind can explain all this and it makes sense to us at the time but then we become unhappy and frustrated with our lives, relationships, partners and thankfully with ourselves.

It all starts with the self.

When we answer our own question to ourselves , when we become unhappy enough with the situation then we can move forward.

Our personality gives us a clue to what the cause is .

The heart wants to do something, the head plans to do something and the body does it.

So unless these three are in total alignment it can’t happen..

The question to ask ourselves is.. Which one of my three basic centers is trying to rule,   which one is overshadowing and which one being overshadowed.?

If we know our basic enneagram type we have at least got a clue to whether we are heart, head or body based.

Even if we don’t know our enneagram type there are a few questions to ask ourselves.

Am I fearful of making a mistake or not doing the process correctly and that is why I am putting it off or am I focused on correcting so much about myself it becomes too much to start?

Am I fearful of success? Am I putting off the changes in case I actually succeed in being happy, independent, and content?

This is a very common problem, fear of success.

Am I over controlling of myself and fearful of being controlled by others?  So I am not going to start changing or shifting in case others think they have convinced me , that gives them the credit

Am I too focused on my head, thoughts, plans and order to release and explore some of my emotions which may be the very thing stopping me from expanding?…. Is that to scary?

Am I nervous that should I be a content, competent, happy person with a successful life I may lose some relationships in my life?

Will I suffer envy from others, will others stop caring for me?

There are many, many questions and millions of answers.

How do I know where to start.?

Ask yourself the question and listen to the answer you head is giving, the answer your heart is giving and the answer your body is giving.

Is one giving an excuse or are they all aligned with the same answer? If there is alignment, that will be the result of your endeavors.

This alignment can be positive or negative but the alignment will always bring a result..

What result do you truly want?

 

By | 2018-06-28T09:25:20+00:00 May 17th, 2018|Advice|5 Comments

5 Comments

  1. Lynne MacKenzie May 18, 2018 at 11:47 pm - Reply

    Also being body-based I’ve been the queen of procrastination. I feel motivated to do something then when it comes to the crunch, I think – nope, will do it later. I think partly because others may want to take credit for it, but that has not been true for some time, so what am I sabotaging? Only myself I think. Is it pure laziness on my part? Probably yes, but I needed to read this to perhaps actually get onto those unpleasant tasks I’m delaying. Sometimes it seems like such a huge thing to do I need to break it down into smaller pieces and tackle what I can. Like behavioural psychology, reward the work done with something I really want, even if it’s as simple as a feeling of accomplishment. Thanks, Melitta.

  2. Candice May 28, 2018 at 3:48 pm - Reply

    I love this article! So relevant, and true to yourself. Being vulnerable is something we all battle with, and to find people you trust, and who guide you and are encouraging you along the way, and offering any kind of support, most importantly those who “show up” are my favourite kind of people

    Congrats my Mentor, I’m so excited to have been on this journey with you, you have saved me so many times and truly made me see who I am, and accept that, not what others see or what me to be, but who I Am.

    • Melitta Wessels July 19, 2018 at 7:51 am - Reply

      Hi Candice , its so important to isolate the reason behind the procrastination and work from there.. its it failure ? is it success? is it fear of our own amazing selves.

  3. Jacqueline Gates July 2, 2018 at 9:39 pm - Reply

    YES!! All of this.

    My procrastination drives me nuts!! And it’s only ever on reallyREALLY important stuff, y’know? Things I know how to do. Things I know will make a difference in my business and in my life. Even things I’m good at!! *overly dramatic sigh

    Your comment about a fear of success rang deep in my core as a truth I need to percolate on.

    Congrats on your debut, my brilliant friend.
    So very glad to see your wisdom out there in the world, for all to see and feel.

    • Melitta Wessels July 19, 2018 at 7:49 am - Reply

      Hi Jacqui , fear of success is probably the most difficult to overcome as it doesnt make any logical sense , not even to ourselves..

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